Saturday, September 26, 2009


Here is the first draft of the script. it is an open script so

if you have any ideas to spice it up, please share.

Herbie Swank
a documentary on Cincinnati

1 shwartz point scene
pan the stage, empty seats
quick zooms of musicians once seated.
cu shot of Ed standing up and rousing the crowd.
stand up bass player slapping away.

2 animated sequence
shoot the showcard flipbook 1frame at a time.

3 title sequence
use tracing paper to fade into title card "Herbie Swank" hold

for 5 frames then place the title card a "jon hancock


use acetate transparencies througout the movie for

transitioning and variety. From the Photography as a tool book.

It should add a scientific aesthetic to the film.

4 intro shot of Jeff Ruby's show title card "Jeff Ruby's"
get the lions outside and curve over to the smoking area.
far shot of people smoking cigars in front of the meat locker.
time lapse the cars from the other side of the street.
close up of cigar smokers and light laughter.
zoom into steak

5 immediatly cut to steak on broiler.
chef Garitson flips the steak.
pan the catwalk where they prep plates to be sent to the hungry.
run the whole kitchen and back rooms
5 frame shot of the dishwasher angles choppy feeling.

transition using quick animation of street stills 1 frame
going from Jr to 127 shoot door local 127 for title card.

6 pan from kitchen to Steve to chef's table downward motion.
Abe lincold (jamie Payne) holds glass up to chefs.
holding their "finest" bottle of wine he pours the glass

abe smells the wine sticking his hole nose into the goblet
he gets his beard wet from all the wine. cleans it with his

7 quick shot of everybody using eye movement.
steve geddes chef of local 127 smiles at
matthew proud dignified and regal looks at
anna studious kind and pregnant looks at
Abe lincoln peculiar but well spoken looks at
Lindsey Whittle (needs a stage name) her hat billowing in the
wind with a lovely floral plumage.

8 surprised she looks at server (Caitlin) who goes over the

specials of the night holds up certain ingredients due to no

sound. her acting should be very animated and gesturing.

9 an enthusiastic thumbs up from matthew (possibly caesers crown

to make comical)
a round of laughter

10 Instantly the food appears. close up of each plate quickly.
all charecters hold up their glasses in extreme wide angle shot
from below looking up at the glasses as a trophy.
wine is poured into glasses
cheers and clinks

11 a hot kissing scene freeze shot. fade out to white using the

transition backwinder.

12 roll credits possibly incorporating scene details from the

local 127, chandeliers, lemons in the wall, kitchen functioning.

use the acetate sheets for credits. print with white ink for


shoot on kodachrome or ektachrome 64t depending on if i can get a

second camera operator. once edited expand to 16mm. dubb sound in

later. Use field recordings for minimal sound effects, trumpeting

for car sputterings, record in Dewey's for loud clankings, ect.

Jonathan Hancock sept. 2009

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